Where Are All the Good Men?

An interview with Mark Warren, author of Power of 4: How Christian Men Create Purposeful Lives By Not Going It Alone

A devoted family man himself, author Mark Warren has been married to his best friend Margy for over 35 years. The parent of two adult children, Mark recently retired from a distinguished career in the financial industry, where he served as Managing Director at one of America's oldest investment firms. Now in Act II of his life, Mark has not slowed down. He now leads the Power of 4 Ministries, an initiative dedicated to helping boys and men rediscover their identity and purpose with biblical masculinity.

MA: So, Mark, is there a war on men and the family?

MW: Yes, vast amounts of evidence reveal a distressing assault on men and the nuclear family. Casualties included a surge in suicide, addiction, divorce, and depression rates amongst our men and boys. There is a concerted effort to undermine not just family unity, but also to diminish the masculine role in society. This globalist movement—energized by a perverse agenda to transform Western culture purportedly for humanity's betterment—aggressively promotes narratives that frame the traditional family as oppressive. This noxious push has infiltrated all our institutions, from universities to elementary schools to media to art and culture. It means to reshape young minds with ideologies that challenge and undermine the conventional family structure and male identity.

At the core of society, the family, as ordained by God, remains a sanctuary of intimacy and joy. The source of so many fond memories, it teaches love, socialization, confidence, security, and morality. Attacks on this foundation aim to dismantle societal cohesion and values under the guise of “progress.” The assault on men, labeled broadly with accusations of inherent misogyny and dominance, fuels a divisive narrative that isolates and vilifies men. The increasing prevalence of isolation, substance abuse, and economic inactivity amongst males signal deep societal malaise, further exacerbated by the COVID-19 pandemic and our poor societal response to it.

Observations and research highlight a worrying pattern where the destabilization of men's roles and the erosion of family values serve the interests of those seeking to overhaul societal norms for their agendas. This orchestrated campaign against men and the traditional family structure not only poses an immediate challenge; it threatens the very foundation of society and requires a response that reaffirms the importance of family and biblical masculinity.

MA: Why do we hear so much about toxic masculinity? Also, how does vilifying men help the evildoers of the world amass more power?

MW: Making men the ultimate scapegoat for all societal problems, rather than addressing the sin present in all people, denies the truth. This mindset manipulates moral standards, creating confusion that can be exploited to target specific groups, spreading lies to push nefarious narratives. What's wrong with traditional masculinity? It stands in the way of those who wish to subvert the family to gain greater power.

It's telling that submission, encouraged by the Bible for mutual respect and humility, is somehow controversial in today's society. And yet, Jesus washing His disciples' feet is a powerful act of submission. How can such behavior be toxic?

Meanwhile, the modern emphasis on individual rights and self-esteem erodes meaningful relationships within marriages and families. Humanist ideologies promoting rights and freedoms have distanced us from the depth of connection found in genuine relationships.

Through undermining men’s roles as leaders and role models, those in power can push society towards their desired outcome. By addressing sin, instead of blaming men, we can overcome such divisive narratives. The trend of categorizing ALL men, especially white men in the U.S., as oppressors, overlooks the chance for collective improvement and unity. Instead of promoting division, acknowledging our shared sinfulness and the need for God’s grace can lead to true reconciliation and healing, opposing the "divide and conquer" strategy used by those seeking power and control, often under globalist influences.

MA: So there is a real connection between the war on men and the movement to undermine the family and family values?

MW: Yes, and one can only surmise what a generation from now may look like if the assault continues. It's quite alarming. We don’t need to look much further than Paul’s Letter to the Ephesians, Chapter 5, specifically verses 18-22, written around 60 AD, as a foundational reference. My opinion aside, this is not about human opinions; it’s about divine guidance.

Paul discusses the importance of not getting drunk with wine, as this leads to dissipation. Instead, he advises being filled with the Spirit, which is the key to everything else. This state of being filled with the Spirit prevents the loss of self-control and erratic behavior that comes with drunkenness, a common issue in ancient cultures with many gods and a history of Bacchanalian feasts.

Paul’s contrast between drunkenness and being filled with the Spirit, paralleled in Colossians 3:16, emphasizes the need for the word of Christ to dwell richly in us. This alignment with the Holy Spirit means our lives are controlled by divine will rather than our own flawed desires.

Observing the current state, the distressing increase in suicide rates among men, especially those over 60, along with rising addiction, divorce, and depression rates, points to a real societal crisis. The assault against the family and men is backed by a twisted logic under the pretext of advancing humanity. This humanist stance promotes the idea that we can control everything by enhancing our human capabilities. You can see evidence for this in the misguided transhumanism movement pushed by the likes of Ray Kurzweil.

MA: How does your book Power of 4 and your movement address this problem?

MW: One of the significant issues men face is isolation. Despite the saying "It's lonely at the top,” why must this be a universal truth? Research shows men lose friends as we age, leading to detrimental isolation. The erroneous belief in total independence—that one can overcome everything alone—turns relationships into burdens, a perspective we challenge with Power of 4.

Power of 4 is inspired by Jesus' model; He had 12 Apostles, sent out 70 disciples, but closely interacted with John, Peter, and James. They were His inner circle. In men’s lives, it's vital to have such a circle—a group of guys you can discuss life's challenges with openly.

We advocate for regular reconciliation and confession, which Power of 4 groups facilitate. The societal attack on men and the family is not speculation. There is a war and an agenda to indoctrinate young minds with a worldview detached from truth, leading to the collapse of our way of life.

Power of 4 confronts this narrative by encouraging accountable relationships among men, echoing Jesus' practice of maintaining a close, supportive circle. This approach not only counters the isolation many men face, but also encourages a continual process of personal growth and character development, essential for leading families and enriching communities. Through regular meetings in supportive environments, Power of 4 groups offer a space for men to share, pray, and study the Word together, reinforcing godly living.

MA: Why is faith so important to our boys?

MW: Faith equips our boys with the Armor of God, necessary for protection against the evil one, described in the Bible as a roaring lion seeking to devour. This metaphor highlights the necessity of the Shield of Faith to guard against doubt, discontent, and dissatisfaction—fiery arrows aimed at hearts and minds. Faith, as the Bible teaches, is foundational, offering salvation through grace alone, in Christ alone, for God's glory alone. It's this shield of faith that we must instill in our young men, teaching them the truth of their identity, purpose, and value as seen through God's eyes.

Understanding one's SHAPE—Spiritual Gifts, Heart, Abilities, Personality, and Experiences—is important. This concept, utilized by Saddleback Church among others, helps men grasp how they've been uniquely crafted by God for a specific purpose. As fathers especially, it's our role to guide our boys in recognizing and honing these aspects, pointing them toward God's plan for their lives.

In a world that often pushes a narrative of self-reliance and individual achievement, faith offers a counter-narrative that emphasizes service in fellowship and reliance on God. It also challenges the prevailing ideologies of self-esteem and self-confidence as ends in themselves, revealing them to be built upon shifting sands rather than the solid rock of faith in Christ.

Faith provides a foundation upon which our boys can build a life that is both meaningful and aligned with God's will. It enables them to stand firm in the face of challenges and uncertainties, equipped not with the world's fleeting assurances but with the enduring promise of God's love.

MA: What are some of your successes in this space?

MW: I've had the pleasure of coaching high school boys in lacrosse for over 23 years and being part of a men's group for over 20 years. Importantly, I am not without sin. Like my fellow men, I am work in progress. Recently, I faced a challenge when a new coach in my master's swim program caught my attention. Despite never having a personal interaction, I found myself increasingly fixated on her over several weeks. It was in a Power of 4 group meeting, sharing with men I trust, that I found relief by confessing feelings of lust. This process showed me that the issues we face are often rooted in our sinful nature, not just societal or personal dilemmas. Being able to openly discuss and reconcile these concerns within my group, and with God, stripped away the power of those temptations.

Furthermore, my role in these young boys' lives goes beyond sports; it's about instilling a strong spiritual foundation. Satan aims to sow doubt and discord, targeting our faith and our youth. As parents, we must engage with our boys, offering guidance at the kitchen table where we can empower them with the spiritual armor of God, emphasizing the shield of faith to ward off doubt and discouragement. It's our responsibility to provide them with tools to navigate life's many challenges grounded in faith.

MA: Why has pornography become so ubiquitous, particularly accessible to the young? And how does early exposure to porn among boys contribute to the broader issues and dangers we've discussed?

MW: The impact of pornography is profound, starting from how it captures the mind, influencing thoughts and actions. Pornography's addictive nature is no less significant than that of hard drugs. However, the battle with porn is a silent one, even affecting according to statistics, 40-50% of pastors. This addiction is essentially a battle for the mind, persisting from the first encounter into later life stages, demonstrating its lingering impact.

The consequences extend beyond personal struggles, affecting significant life events, altering the essence of relationships.

I recently heard a pastor tell the story of a newlywed man who was unable to enjoy his honeymoon. Rather than be happily intimate with his new wife, he spent the week tortured by all the mental images he had of previous sexual relationships. Those images cheapened a very special time, not to mention, they undermined the lifelong commitment he just made.

Moreover, the widespread sharing of explicit content among youngsters not only corrupts individual innocence, but has a domino effect on one’s peers, embedding prurient images that can never be unseen.

This issue is further compounded when considering societal implications. Pornography numbs genuine intimacy, objectifies individuals, and hinders meaningful interactions. The true danger lies in how pornography diverts men from realizing their authentic selves and forming profound connections. How can we expect men to start families, much less remain faithful, when they can sneak away at any moment to watch porn?

MA: Can you share your future plans for Christian Ministry aimed at assisting our boys and men?

MW: Every morning I begin with prayer, seeking God's guidance for next steps. My heart's desire is to witness the return of joy among men. It appears to me that modern societal pressures—including the incessant need to have more, alongside rampant narcissism, idolatry, and a culture of individualism—have sapped men of their inherent joy. This societal push, emphasizing achievement and material success over all else, leaves men unsatisfied and discontented.

After retiring from a 37-year career in the financial sector, I've observed, both in my life and broadly, a palpable absence of joy in men's lives. This is where the importance of Power of 4 comes into play, serving as a crucial platform for men to connect deeply and support one another in faith. The intent is to create a community where men can be vulnerable, share their struggles, and find strength in brotherhood.

MA: What steps can fathers take to support their sons who are labeled as toxic simply for being boys?

MW: It's imperative that fathers love their sons unconditionally and provide a solid foundation by living and teaching according to God's Word. Fathers should communicate the truth with love, encouraging their sons to reject falsehoods.

Referencing Romans 12:2, it's vital for fathers to instruct their sons not to conform to the misleading narratives of the world but to renew their minds daily with the Word of God, ensuring they aren't deceived by lies.

Fathers must be diligent and intentional in their parenting, ensuring they, not the world, influence their sons' values. This includes promoting a good understanding of their faith at home because this will guide their sons in life.

MA: How can Power of 4 and your initiatives positively influence our society now and in the future?

MW: For anyone interested in joining our cause, our website, powerof4ministries.org, offers a wealth of resources, including a daily devotional and a variety of articles. The devotionals are also accessible via my LinkedIn. Our goal aligns with the Biblical Great Commission, urging us to spread the teachings of Jesus. Power of 4 approaches this mission by promoting groups of men who are ready to share openly about their lives.

I'm a supporter of the work of local churches, men's ministry groups, and small group gatherings. I also believe in the importance of more intimate, one-on-one interactions. Whether it's a group of three, four, or five, the strength of a unit is undeniable; a three-strand cord is not easily broken, as the scriptures tell us. Surrounding myself with men who can watch my back, as I do theirs, provides mutual support and accountability.

We're just starting what will be a long, arduous battle. This prompts questions: Who are you battling alongside? Who replenishes your spiritual arsenal? It's crucial to consistently equip oneself with the Armor of God, from the Sword of the Spirit and Helmet of Salvation to the Gospel of Peace and the Breastplate of Righteousness.

MA: Amen. God bless the work you are doing. And God bless our boys and men.